Partnership

 As we get closer and closer to our due date, I find myself focusing on all the positive support we have going into this adventure. Most of all, I am so grateful to be going into labor with G as my partner. While obviously pregnancy most physically affects the childbearing partner, G has had to do a lot to support our family through this process. 

When one of my hypnobirthing tracks encourages me to visualize a place where I am completely comfortable and relaxed, I immediately think of lying next to G in bed. The image instantly brings to mind how completely committed he is to me. He always encourages me to wake him up if I can’t sleep from anxiety or discomfort. I rarely actually wake him up but sometimes he senses my awakeness and wakes up to rub my back or talk to me about whatever is keeping me up. He never gets annoyed or grumpy if he can’t go back to sleep and is tired in the morning. 

During all the mood swings of the last nine months, G has remained calm and gentle with me. His understanding quickly smooths the severity of my feelings and as someone who tends to stay sulking in moodiness, our relationship has really changed my emotional flexibility. It is hard to stay upset in the midst of being so nurtured.

While we have different approaches to life, my need for structure and planning opposed to his mellow go with the flow approach, he is so adaptable to my type A personality. Thank you for watching a million videos on breastfeeding and labor with me, showing me how to use my breast pump and sterilizing every hand me down bottle and bottle parts we’ve inherited (he has a different kind of OCD from me), listening on your own to podcasts about positive birth stories and the fourth trimester and parenting, and never judging the somewhat woo woo practices I’m using in preparation for labor. 

While I plan, G is far better at implementing concrete actions. I’m so thankful for how quickly and efficiently he has prepared our home for the baby, both in terms of things directly related to the baby and things that we wanted to have for ourselves before newborn chaos. And especially during the first trimester, he pretty much took over every household chore and even now when I am less tired he tells me to save my energy and never complains about doing all the cleanup. At one point when I got anxious about the prospect of constantly cleaning breast pump supplies he gently reassured me that he will be the one to clean them.

G has also been incredibly supportive of my climbing throughout pregnancy, trusting my judgment and encouraging whatever I feel I can sustain in terms of physical activity. Amidst not so positive feedback, I’m thankful to him for being proud of me for continuing to move. Similarly, he’s been the most encouraging of my desire for an unmedicated labor, and has learned a lot about what he can do to support me during that process.

So as this event looms ahead, with much possibility to induce fear and anxiety, I feel calm and assured that I have everything I need in a birth partner and I’m really excited to experience this together.